Have you ever wondered how the saints were raised and what their parents did right? Was it chance, or were these parents living exemplary lives? What can I learn from them to raise my children to join the cloud of witnesses?
After reading countless books on the saints and writing Parents of the Saints: The Hidden Heroes Behind Our Favorite Saints, I discovered seven hallmarks shared by the holiest parents and their saintly children: Sacramental Life, Surrender, Sacrificial Love, Suffering, Simplicity, Solitude, and the Sacredness of Life.
Here begins the first hallmark in the series of learning about the parents of the saints and what they did to raise saints: Sacramental Life.
At a Catholic wedding, the priest typically asks three questions before the exchange of vows:
“(Name) and (name), have you come here to enter into Marriage without coercion, freely and wholeheartedly?”
“Are you prepared, as you follow the path of Marriage, to love and honor each other for as long as you both shall live?”
“Are you prepared to accept children lovingly from God and to bring them up according to the law of Christ and his Church?”
In the final question, there is a subtle expectation, a voice that I wish could be heard in the hearts of every couple on their wedding day—a voice from God the Father similar to that which spoke at Jesus’ Baptism and Transfiguration. A voice that says, “My beloved son and My beloved daughter, will you raise saints for my glory?”
For those called to Matrimony, the greatest responsibility is helping your spouse reach Heaven and, if blessed with children, raising them to be saints. When every couple stands before God at the moment of death, God ask another question: “Did you do everything in your power with my grace to raise saints?” After all, our children do not belong to us. They are on loan to us from God. His they belong and His they will return. Throughout Scripture, God wants a return on His investment as seen in the Parable of the Talents (see Matt. 25:14–30).
If God wants us to raise saints, then certainly He must give us the grace. The greatest means that God gives parents to raise saintly children is through the Sacramental Life. Each of the seven sacraments (Baptism, Reconciliation, Holy Eucharist, Confirmation, Marriage, Holy Orders, and Anointing of the Sick) are strategically given around those times in our biological development when we need the grace the most. The parents of the saints treated the sacraments as the seven greatest wonders of God, for in them we find the fullness of life and virtue.
In our world when many parents delay baptism or do not baptize their children period, the parents of the saints made sure their children were baptized immediately. For instance, St. Maria Goretti’s mother made sure her children were baptized the day after their birth. Sts. Louis and Zélie Martin, the parents of St. Thérèse, also made sure their children were baptized right away.
When it came to the Sacrament of Reconciliation, the parents of the saints made sure their children received this sacrament frequently. Aurelia Galgani, the mother of St. Gemma Galgani would take her children every Saturday to church to experience God’s forgiveness and mercy. Confession was not an afterthought, but a scheduled event.
The greatest treasure of the parents of the saints was the Holy Eucharist. It for this reason that many parents of the saints went to Daily Mass, such as the parents of St. Gianna Molla. Sts. Louis and Zélie Martin would make a visit to the Most Blessed Sacrament each evening when they first married. After Zélie died from breast cancer, Louis would often take little Thérèse with him to visit Jesus. St. Padre Pio’s parents, Grazio and Maria Forgione, were also known for their great love for the Holy Eucharist. They attended daily Mass and prayed a nightly Rosary.
Devotion to the Eucharist is not something that is taught, but caught. Witnessing her father cry during Mass because of a beautiful Liturgy or powerful homily, spoke more to St. Thérèse than any Catechism lesson. Lex Orandi, Lex Credendi or “the law of worship determines the law of belief.”
Thanks be to God, the love that many of the grandparents and parents of the saints had for the Holy Eucharist trickled down from generation to generation just as a waterfall trickles down the same rocks century upon century, smoothing the rocks over time while giving life to the surrounding vegetation, including a little flower like St. Thérèse. (O’Hearn, 2021, p. 20)
The sacramental life was the very spiritual heartbeat of the saints, the final sacrament being Anointing of the Sick. As Margaret Bosco neared the end of her life, she told her son, St. John Bosco the following: “There was a time I helped you receive the sacraments. Now it’s your turn to help me. Let’s recite the prayers for the dying together” (p. 75).
The mission of every Catholic parent is to prepare their children to live well, die in God’s grace, and reach Heaven. The parents of saints weren’t focused on raising “good people” but on raising saints, building their foundation on the rock of Sacramental Life.
Editor’s Note: This article is part one of a series on the parents of saints by Patrick O’Hearn.
Photo by Matea Gregg on Unsplash
