Carlo never compared himself with others, not because he considered himself better than others like an arrogant person, but because he was simple, modest, and preferred to keep a low profile, not wanting in any way to make a show of himself. He once told us, “Why diminish the light of others to make your own shine brighter?” This expression revealed how far he was from jealousy.
In his first year in high school, he received a 9 out of 10 on an essay. That day he had the highest grade in the class. Two of his classmates, considered to be the brightest of the class, got much lower grades and cried because Carlo had gotten a 9. Carlo, amazed by their reactions, told us he had tried to console the two classmates by telling them that he did not deserve the 9 and that the teacher had been too lenient with him.
He did not grumble, nor did he criticize others, and he certainly did not appreciate those who criticized others. He tried in every way not to take part in these destructive conversations. He was opposed to all that: he helped his classmates to be successful in their studies, in sports, and in their spiritual life, and rejoiced and congratulated them when they succeeded.
One of the qualities that his friends most appreciated in Carlo was his loyalty and veracity. If he gave his word, he stood by it. He knew nothing about lying. When he taught catechism, he told of the episode narrated by a spiritual daughter of Padre Pio of Pietrelcina:
We all know that Padre Pio did not want anyone to tell a lie, not even jokingly or for something of little importance. To keep the commitment I had made in the confessional, I began to ask for help from my Guardian Angel. When I found myself in difficulty, because they asked me something I didn’t know and I couldn’t respond without falling into a lie, I commended myself to him.
He had a great capacity for self-control in all senses, not only regarding temperance, but also in his speech and the use of time. For example, as a little boy, in order not to disturb us adults or interrupt our work, he was able to play alone for hours, to read, or to draw cartoons. Tantrums were foreign to him. Elisa, the teacher who was with him some afternoons, was struck by his self-control in using his time well between studies and play, prayer and time with friends.
He was temperate even in eating. If there was a dish that he did not like, he would eat it anyhow. When there were sweets or other tasty dishes, he knew how to wait until everyone else was served, and then if there was something left over, he would take some, too. He admitted openly that he had a sweet tooth, and he always ate with a hearty appetite. But he never ate between meals.
In the summer of 1999, we went overboard on pizza and gelato, and we were all a bit overweight. When we returned to Milan, he immediately began to be more moderate with food and slimmed down. For Carlo, moderation with food was not merely a matter of diet or eating healthily, but also the possibility of offering to God some little sacrifice, a little renunciation of something licit and good in view of doing something better. For example, he offered the little sacrifice of a snack or some sweet to help the souls of the departed in Purgatory.
Sometimes he even renounced watching a film that he liked, over and above avoiding violent or vulgar ones. When he was little, he preferred cartoons or documentaries about animals. As he grew, he preferred action films, or documentaries on the events of the Bible and the lives of the saints.
Several months after his death, the commission of the Archdiocese of Milan in charge of his beatification process examined the chronology of his activities on his personal computer. The last activity dated from the day before he was admitted to the hospital. The commission discovered that the websites Carlo visited concerned his high school subjects, information technology, and above all, subjects relating to faith. There were no websites related to pornography. This offers further proof of the good use he made of his time, of his temperance, and also of his chastity.
As a catechist and companion, Carlo proposed to his friends the same rectitude and purity that he was living thanks to his faith. On various occasions, we heard Carlo insisting with his friends on living a chaste life and not wasting their time on pornography and sins of impurity. He often told them, “The tempter puts us to the test in this matter where we might be weak. We must not be afraid, but only flee from him with resolve. Without the consent of our will, the tempter can do nothing against us. Through pornography and sins of impurity, the devil takes so many souls to Hell.” And he quoted the words of Mary in Fatima, “Sins that bring most souls to Hell are the sins of the flesh” (de Marchi, 70). He was not afraid of repeating to his friends what the Catechism teaches:
Pornography . . . does grave injury to the dignity of its participants (actors, vendors, the public), since each one becomes an object of base pleasure and illicit profit for others. It immerses all who are involved in the illusion of a fantasy world. It is a grave offense. Civil authorities should prevent the production and distribution of pornographic materials. (CCC 2354)
His chastity transpired from his gaze as well, and in the attention he dedicated to others. “It is important always to keep watch over ourselves,” Carlo would say. “Only by maintaining our purity of heart will we be able to accumulate in Heaven the treasure needed for Eternity.” He knew that purity of heart, of the affections, and of the eyes goes hand in hand with moderating the daily aspects of life, like our way of dressing and walking.
He knew that sensuality and all its “accessories” must be shunned because they distance us from appreciating the beauty and the image that God has impressed on us—we are the temple of the Most Holy Trinity—and because they pollute our way of loving.
Finally, he knew that temperance and chastity are gifts of God. Therefore, he always prayed to God that he might keep his baptismal innocence, something we must all guard jealously. He asked God and his Guardian Angel with great confidence to be aided in living always in sanctifying grace.
Other human virtues we remember in Carlo are his constancy, his loyalty, and his fortitude in sports. He certainly had the good fortune of playing many sports from the time he was five: mini-soccer, skiing, swimming, karate, kung-fu, tennis, volleyball, and track. At different ages, he was passionately committed to each of these, but without competitiveness or vindictiveness.
For Carlo, playing sports was about cultivating friendships most of all, living moments of joy with his friends, growing together toward a goal that was good and motivating, putting his physical abilities to the test, overcoming fears and fatigue, and triumphing over the difficulties within the team.
Editor’s Note: This article is excerpted from an interview conducted with Carlo Acutis’ parents, Antonia and Andrea. The rest of the interview can be read in God’s Influencer, available from Sophia Institute Press.
Photo from Britannica